1 00:00:10,094 --> 00:00:12,961 Captioning made possible By mgm home entertainment 2 00:00:24,608 --> 00:00:28,409 Oliver: ♪ green acres Is the place to be ♪ 3 00:00:28,478 --> 00:00:32,247 ♪ farm livin' is The life for me ♪ 4 00:00:32,315 --> 00:00:36,351 ♪ land spreadin' Out so far and wide ♪ 5 00:00:36,419 --> 00:00:40,088 ♪ keep manhattan, just Give me that countryside ♪ 6 00:00:40,157 --> 00:00:41,790 Lisa: ♪ new york ♪ 7 00:00:41,859 --> 00:00:44,192 ♪ is where I'd rather stay ♪ 8 00:00:44,261 --> 00:00:48,363 ♪ I get allergic smelling hay ♪ 9 00:00:48,431 --> 00:00:51,867 ♪ I just adore a Penthouse view ♪ 10 00:00:51,935 --> 00:00:53,412 ♪ darling, I love you ♪ 11 00:00:53,436 --> 00:00:55,116 ♪ but give me park avenue ♪ 12 00:00:57,775 --> 00:00:59,574 ♪ the chores ♪ 13 00:00:59,643 --> 00:01:01,609 ♪ the stores ♪ 14 00:01:01,678 --> 00:01:03,444 ♪ fresh air ♪ 15 00:01:03,513 --> 00:01:04,624 ♪ times square ♪ 16 00:01:04,648 --> 00:01:06,214 ♪ you are my wife ♪ 17 00:01:06,283 --> 00:01:08,094 ♪ good-bye, city life ♪ 18 00:01:08,118 --> 00:01:11,653 Both: ♪ green acres, We are there ♪ 19 00:01:31,575 --> 00:01:33,942 Oliver! Oliver! 20 00:01:34,011 --> 00:01:34,943 What do you want? 21 00:01:35,012 --> 00:01:36,344 Breakfast is ready! 22 00:01:36,413 --> 00:01:38,080 Huh? What are we having? 23 00:01:38,149 --> 00:01:40,916 Something new I Cooked. It's a surprise. 24 00:01:40,985 --> 00:01:42,985 A surprise? 25 00:01:52,396 --> 00:01:53,461 Ooh! 26 00:01:53,530 --> 00:01:55,575 And where are you going? 27 00:01:55,599 --> 00:01:57,132 Uh, oh, I was just... 28 00:01:57,201 --> 00:01:58,934 Shneaking out? 29 00:01:59,003 --> 00:02:00,568 I wasn't shneak... Sneaking out. 30 00:02:00,637 --> 00:02:03,338 This way is shneaking. That way is breakfast. 31 00:02:03,407 --> 00:02:04,773 I was going to call eb. 32 00:02:04,842 --> 00:02:06,653 I call him. Eb! 33 00:02:06,677 --> 00:02:07,609 Yes, ma'am? 34 00:02:07,678 --> 00:02:09,455 Breakfast is ready! 35 00:02:09,479 --> 00:02:10,578 What are we having? 36 00:02:10,647 --> 00:02:12,492 Something new I cooked. 37 00:02:12,516 --> 00:02:14,149 Uh-oh. 38 00:02:18,222 --> 00:02:19,966 I'll be there in a few minutes! 39 00:02:19,990 --> 00:02:24,126 Pray, tell me where Are you shneaking to? 40 00:02:24,195 --> 00:02:25,493 I was sneaking... 41 00:02:25,562 --> 00:02:27,674 I was gonna call mr. Douglas. 42 00:02:27,698 --> 00:02:29,564 It's too late. I Already caught him. 43 00:02:29,633 --> 00:02:30,565 Oh. 44 00:02:30,634 --> 00:02:33,302 The kitchen is that way. 45 00:02:37,908 --> 00:02:39,148 Mrs. Douglas, look! 46 00:02:41,145 --> 00:02:43,478 Oh, alice! 47 00:02:43,547 --> 00:02:47,782 Darling, look! Isn't this a miracle? 48 00:02:47,852 --> 00:02:49,551 Depends on who laid it. 49 00:02:49,619 --> 00:02:51,453 Alice! 50 00:02:51,521 --> 00:02:53,222 Then it's no miracle. 51 00:02:53,290 --> 00:02:54,223 But it is. 52 00:02:54,291 --> 00:02:56,424 It's the first egg She laid in a week. 53 00:02:56,493 --> 00:02:57,759 I didn't know that. 54 00:02:57,828 --> 00:02:59,127 We kept it from you. 55 00:02:59,196 --> 00:03:00,573 We didn't want to worry you. 56 00:03:00,597 --> 00:03:02,831 I don't think I'd Have been worried. 57 00:03:02,900 --> 00:03:04,199 Why, that's nice... 58 00:03:04,268 --> 00:03:05,778 After the way she Worried about you 59 00:03:05,802 --> 00:03:07,202 When you were sick. 60 00:03:07,271 --> 00:03:09,171 Oh, I appreciate that. 61 00:03:10,707 --> 00:03:11,784 I bet you never thanked her 62 00:03:11,808 --> 00:03:14,442 For the get well Card she sent you. 63 00:03:16,080 --> 00:03:19,581 Alice. Look how happy she is. 64 00:03:19,649 --> 00:03:21,683 For a whole week, She was very worried. 65 00:03:21,752 --> 00:03:24,052 Every day of her Life she laid an egg, 66 00:03:24,121 --> 00:03:25,165 Then all of the sudden, 67 00:03:25,189 --> 00:03:26,733 Somebody pulled the Rug out from under her. 68 00:03:26,757 --> 00:03:28,056 What was wrong with her? 69 00:03:28,125 --> 00:03:29,992 Her egg maker was on the blink. 70 00:03:30,060 --> 00:03:31,659 Her egg maker? 71 00:03:31,728 --> 00:03:33,173 Yes. Hers wasn't making it, 72 00:03:33,197 --> 00:03:35,330 So we took her to dr. Stuart. 73 00:03:35,399 --> 00:03:36,731 Dr. Stuart? 74 00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:38,678 We'd have told you, but We didn't want to worry you. 75 00:03:38,702 --> 00:03:40,002 I wouldn't have worried. 76 00:03:40,070 --> 00:03:42,048 She worried about You when you were sick. 77 00:03:42,072 --> 00:03:44,739 Yes, I know. She sent Me a get well card. 78 00:03:44,808 --> 00:03:46,141 You ever thank her? 79 00:03:46,210 --> 00:03:49,011 Oh, eb. 80 00:03:49,079 --> 00:03:50,845 Darling, don't yell at eb. 81 00:03:50,915 --> 00:03:52,625 He's the one who saved alice. 82 00:03:52,649 --> 00:03:54,194 I thought you said Doc stuart saved her. 83 00:03:54,218 --> 00:03:57,286 He gave her up, but eb Fixed alice's egg maker 84 00:03:57,354 --> 00:03:59,154 So it was making again. 85 00:03:59,223 --> 00:04:00,322 How did you do that? 86 00:04:00,391 --> 00:04:03,292 I'm sorry, but it ain't ethical 87 00:04:03,360 --> 00:04:05,538 For a doctor to discuss A patient's problems 88 00:04:05,562 --> 00:04:07,062 With an outsider. 89 00:04:07,131 --> 00:04:10,198 That happens to be my chicken. 90 00:04:10,267 --> 00:04:11,611 Oh, well, in that case, 91 00:04:11,635 --> 00:04:12,913 I guess it would be all right 92 00:04:12,937 --> 00:04:14,614 With the american Medical association. 93 00:04:14,638 --> 00:04:16,104 I'm sure that it would. 94 00:04:16,173 --> 00:04:17,951 All I did was change her diet. 95 00:04:17,975 --> 00:04:19,574 I took her off hotcakes. 96 00:04:19,643 --> 00:04:23,745 Lisa, you haven't been Feeding that chicken hotcakes. 97 00:04:23,814 --> 00:04:25,213 Yes. 98 00:04:25,282 --> 00:04:28,683 Well, no wonder her egg Maker went on the blink. 99 00:04:28,752 --> 00:04:31,186 Well, don't worry. We Won't have it anymore. 100 00:04:31,255 --> 00:04:32,687 No. No more hotcakes. 101 00:04:32,756 --> 00:04:33,688 No. 102 00:04:33,757 --> 00:04:34,801 Hear, hear. 103 00:04:34,825 --> 00:04:37,359 Uh, don't get carried away 104 00:04:37,428 --> 00:04:39,861 Until you find out what We're going to have instead. 105 00:04:41,432 --> 00:04:42,864 There you are... 106 00:04:42,933 --> 00:04:44,799 Your instead-of-hotcakes. 107 00:04:44,868 --> 00:04:46,568 What is it? Guess. 108 00:04:46,636 --> 00:04:50,238 Uh, the hubcap of a 1929 essex. 109 00:04:50,307 --> 00:04:52,874 I don't know how to make those. 110 00:04:52,943 --> 00:04:54,909 Well, then I'm stuck. 111 00:04:54,979 --> 00:04:57,379 It's an italian pancake. 112 00:04:57,448 --> 00:04:58,713 An italian... 113 00:04:58,782 --> 00:05:01,049 You probably know it By its american name... 114 00:05:01,118 --> 00:05:02,050 A pizza. 115 00:05:02,119 --> 00:05:04,819 A pizza? 116 00:05:04,888 --> 00:05:07,422 I scraped off the anchovies And the mushrooms. 117 00:05:07,491 --> 00:05:09,257 That's the dinner part. 118 00:05:09,326 --> 00:05:11,193 Unless, of course, You want the anchovies 119 00:05:11,261 --> 00:05:12,894 And the mushrooms for breakfast, 120 00:05:12,963 --> 00:05:15,563 And then you can have The pancake for dinner. 121 00:05:15,632 --> 00:05:17,366 Lisa... 122 00:05:17,434 --> 00:05:19,968 I'd rather we just Went back to hotcakes. 123 00:05:20,037 --> 00:05:22,504 And ruin alice's egg maker? 124 00:05:22,572 --> 00:05:26,141 Lisa, nobody eats anything Like this for breakfast. 125 00:05:26,210 --> 00:05:29,411 Oh, boy, my Favorite breakfast... 126 00:05:29,480 --> 00:05:30,545 Scraped pizza. 127 00:05:34,184 --> 00:05:35,950 Yum yum. 128 00:05:36,020 --> 00:05:38,987 Oh, don't worry. I'll fix. 129 00:05:42,059 --> 00:05:44,592 Here's another One for you, darling. 130 00:05:46,663 --> 00:05:47,962 I don't think that... 131 00:05:49,500 --> 00:05:51,466 I'll get it. I'll get it! 132 00:05:51,535 --> 00:05:53,668 But what about Your italian pancake? 133 00:05:53,737 --> 00:05:55,215 Sweetheart, you Glue the anchovies 134 00:05:55,239 --> 00:05:56,416 And the mushrooms back on it, 135 00:05:56,440 --> 00:05:59,174 And I'll it for Columbus day breakfast. 136 00:06:03,047 --> 00:06:04,579 I don't think they can hear us. 137 00:06:04,648 --> 00:06:06,481 You'd better wheel Arnold around to the back. 138 00:06:08,285 --> 00:06:10,952 You wheel him Around to the back. 139 00:06:11,021 --> 00:06:13,221 I wheeled him all The way over here. 140 00:06:13,290 --> 00:06:15,623 Oh, ain't that a fine thing? 141 00:06:15,692 --> 00:06:18,026 Here we are on an Errand of mercy, 142 00:06:18,095 --> 00:06:20,929 And you keeping account about Who's wheeling what where. 143 00:06:20,997 --> 00:06:23,231 Well, my back has Just about had it. 144 00:06:23,300 --> 00:06:26,668 Oh, mr. Ziffel. What... What do you have here? 145 00:06:26,736 --> 00:06:29,071 Hello, mr. Douglas. I'm Sorry to disturb you, 146 00:06:29,139 --> 00:06:31,339 But we got a mighty Sick pig on our hands. 147 00:06:31,408 --> 00:06:32,340 Oh. 148 00:06:32,409 --> 00:06:33,708 Uh, you know doris? 149 00:06:33,777 --> 00:06:34,943 Fred, will you stop 150 00:06:35,011 --> 00:06:37,412 Lumping me in with your pig? 151 00:06:37,481 --> 00:06:40,382 Oh, mr. Ziffel, mrs. Ziffel. 152 00:06:40,451 --> 00:06:41,916 Is something wrong? 153 00:06:41,985 --> 00:06:43,418 Arnold's sick. 154 00:06:43,487 --> 00:06:45,053 Oh, the poor thing. 155 00:06:45,122 --> 00:06:47,322 Aw, he's been shivering And shaking that way 156 00:06:47,391 --> 00:06:48,823 All night long. 157 00:06:48,892 --> 00:06:51,693 Just like his pappy Did before he moved on 158 00:06:51,761 --> 00:06:54,463 To that big pigpen in the sky. 159 00:06:57,134 --> 00:06:59,234 Yeah, but it ain't going To happen to arnold. 160 00:06:59,303 --> 00:07:00,235 Where's eb? 161 00:07:00,304 --> 00:07:03,071 Inside, finishing His scraped pizza. 162 00:07:03,140 --> 00:07:05,273 You see? They have 'em for breakfast, 163 00:07:05,342 --> 00:07:06,982 And they're from new york. 164 00:07:07,644 --> 00:07:09,744 Well, I don't care Where they're from. 165 00:07:09,813 --> 00:07:11,846 We need eb to Make arnold better. 166 00:07:11,915 --> 00:07:13,493 Eb? What about doc stuart? 167 00:07:13,517 --> 00:07:15,383 Well, we'd rather have eb. 168 00:07:15,452 --> 00:07:16,729 Would you mind calling him? 169 00:07:16,753 --> 00:07:18,052 Eb? 170 00:07:18,122 --> 00:07:19,732 You know, eb fixed arnold up. 171 00:07:19,756 --> 00:07:21,334 He's pretty good with pigs. 172 00:07:21,358 --> 00:07:23,091 Well, if it is his egg maker, 173 00:07:23,160 --> 00:07:24,726 Eb can fix it. 174 00:07:24,794 --> 00:07:26,394 His what? 175 00:07:26,463 --> 00:07:27,773 Honey, pigs don't Have egg makers. 176 00:07:27,797 --> 00:07:28,797 Yes, sir? 177 00:07:28,865 --> 00:07:30,865 Oh, eb, take a look At arnold, will you? 178 00:07:34,204 --> 00:07:36,638 How long's he been shaking And shivering this way? 179 00:07:36,706 --> 00:07:38,072 All night long. 180 00:07:38,142 --> 00:07:39,941 He's got a hot snoot. 181 00:07:40,010 --> 00:07:42,410 He been suffering From lassitudenessness? 182 00:07:42,479 --> 00:07:45,880 He's been lassitudenessing All over the place. 183 00:07:45,949 --> 00:07:48,617 Aha. It's the shim shams. 184 00:07:48,685 --> 00:07:49,751 What's that? 185 00:07:49,819 --> 00:07:51,564 I ain't got no time for Medical explanations. 186 00:07:51,588 --> 00:07:52,787 Somebody boil some hot water. 187 00:07:52,856 --> 00:07:53,933 I'll do it. 188 00:07:53,957 --> 00:07:55,535 You get a pail. Right away. 189 00:07:55,559 --> 00:07:57,125 Mr. Ziffel, you Run into drucker's 190 00:07:57,194 --> 00:07:59,194 And get a bottle of Sawyer's soothing syrup. 191 00:07:59,263 --> 00:08:00,406 I'm on my way. 192 00:08:00,430 --> 00:08:01,974 Mr. Douglas, you wheel The patient into the barn. 193 00:08:01,998 --> 00:08:03,009 Yeah, I'll get him into the... 194 00:08:03,033 --> 00:08:05,133 What are you Talking about? In the... 195 00:08:05,202 --> 00:08:07,469 I got to keep sterile. 196 00:08:14,411 --> 00:08:16,311 Saved arnold's life, huh? 197 00:08:16,380 --> 00:08:17,312 I guess so. 198 00:08:17,381 --> 00:08:18,513 You guess so? 199 00:08:18,582 --> 00:08:20,126 Mr. And mrs. Ziffel said 200 00:08:20,150 --> 00:08:21,449 That eb saved arnold 201 00:08:21,518 --> 00:08:23,785 From going to the Big playpen in the sky. 202 00:08:23,853 --> 00:08:26,488 Pigpen in the sky. 203 00:08:26,557 --> 00:08:28,168 Well, wherever he didn't go, 204 00:08:28,192 --> 00:08:29,902 The ziffels were very happy. 205 00:08:29,926 --> 00:08:31,359 Oh, that eb. 206 00:08:31,428 --> 00:08:33,061 He's sure got a Way with animals. 207 00:08:33,129 --> 00:08:34,996 Doc stuart always said He should've been a vet. 208 00:08:35,065 --> 00:08:37,332 A vet vot? 209 00:08:37,401 --> 00:08:39,067 A veterinarian. 210 00:08:39,135 --> 00:08:42,036 Oh, that kind of a vet vot. 211 00:08:42,105 --> 00:08:44,083 Well, if he'd make Such a good one, 212 00:08:44,107 --> 00:08:45,039 Why isn't he? 213 00:08:45,108 --> 00:08:46,208 He has to go to college. 214 00:08:46,276 --> 00:08:47,609 Why? 215 00:08:47,678 --> 00:08:48,743 To be a veterinarian, 216 00:08:48,812 --> 00:08:49,922 You've got to have a diploma. 217 00:08:49,946 --> 00:08:51,846 Just like a doctor That treats people. 218 00:08:51,915 --> 00:08:54,482 Oh, well, people's Doctor I can understand, 219 00:08:54,551 --> 00:08:55,961 Because people go to the office 220 00:08:55,985 --> 00:08:57,129 And look at the diploma, 221 00:08:57,153 --> 00:08:59,387 But animals never. 222 00:08:59,456 --> 00:09:01,055 Well... 223 00:09:01,124 --> 00:09:02,835 Wait until you hear The next part of it. 224 00:09:02,859 --> 00:09:04,103 When eb fixed up alice, 225 00:09:04,127 --> 00:09:06,060 She didn't look for his diploma, 226 00:09:06,129 --> 00:09:08,430 And neither did arnold When eb saved him 227 00:09:08,498 --> 00:09:10,632 From the shiver Shake shim shams. 228 00:09:10,701 --> 00:09:12,234 Well... 229 00:09:12,302 --> 00:09:13,479 I don't think she's finished. 230 00:09:13,503 --> 00:09:15,081 Now, if eb needs a diploma, 231 00:09:15,105 --> 00:09:16,182 He should go to college, 232 00:09:16,206 --> 00:09:18,373 So he can become a vegetarian. 233 00:09:18,442 --> 00:09:21,142 Uh, I think he'd rather Become a veterinarian. 234 00:09:21,211 --> 00:09:23,256 Well, whatever. Why doesn't he? 235 00:09:23,280 --> 00:09:25,046 I don't think he can afford to. 236 00:09:25,115 --> 00:09:29,050 Well, if he can't, I know who can. 237 00:09:29,119 --> 00:09:31,219 Why should we Send eb to college? 238 00:09:31,288 --> 00:09:32,354 What would have happened 239 00:09:32,422 --> 00:09:34,623 If your father had Said that to you? 240 00:09:34,691 --> 00:09:35,801 He didn't. 241 00:09:35,825 --> 00:09:37,325 Well, that proves it. 242 00:09:37,394 --> 00:09:38,326 Proves what? 243 00:09:38,395 --> 00:09:40,662 Your father was Nicer than you are. 244 00:09:40,731 --> 00:09:42,897 College can be pretty expensive. 245 00:09:42,966 --> 00:09:43,998 How expensive? 246 00:09:44,067 --> 00:09:47,068 Mink coat expensive Or sable coat expensive? 247 00:09:47,137 --> 00:09:48,670 Mink. 248 00:09:48,739 --> 00:09:51,172 Well, then why don't we Send eb to college instead? 249 00:09:51,241 --> 00:09:52,173 Instead of what? 250 00:09:52,242 --> 00:09:54,008 You buying me a mink coat. 251 00:09:54,077 --> 00:09:56,711 I wasn't going to Buy you a mink coat. 252 00:09:56,780 --> 00:09:58,179 Well, then you Certainly can afford 253 00:09:58,248 --> 00:09:59,614 To send eb to college. 254 00:09:59,683 --> 00:10:00,948 Lisa... 255 00:10:01,017 --> 00:10:04,051 Although if I go to Visit eb in college, 256 00:10:04,120 --> 00:10:05,620 It wouldn't be Nice if I would go 257 00:10:05,689 --> 00:10:07,255 Without a mink coat. 258 00:10:07,324 --> 00:10:09,190 He wouldn't mind. 259 00:10:09,259 --> 00:10:11,293 Did your mother ever Visit you at harvard 260 00:10:11,361 --> 00:10:12,594 Without a mink coat? 261 00:10:12,663 --> 00:10:14,195 Many times. 262 00:10:14,264 --> 00:10:15,597 I guess it didn't matter 263 00:10:15,666 --> 00:10:18,400 Who your mother Was in those days. 264 00:10:18,468 --> 00:10:21,469 No. The standards Were much lower. 265 00:10:21,538 --> 00:10:23,237 What are we talking about? 266 00:10:23,307 --> 00:10:25,440 About the kind of a mink Coat you're going to buy me 267 00:10:25,509 --> 00:10:27,442 When I visit eb in college. 268 00:10:27,511 --> 00:10:28,688 If eb goes to college, 269 00:10:28,712 --> 00:10:29,989 You're not going To get a mink coat. 270 00:10:30,013 --> 00:10:32,447 How about a mink stole? No. 271 00:10:32,516 --> 00:10:34,783 Earmuffs? No. 272 00:10:34,851 --> 00:10:36,785 Finger warmer? Nothing. 273 00:10:36,853 --> 00:10:39,854 I hope eb appreciates The sacrifice I made 274 00:10:39,923 --> 00:10:41,489 To send him to college. 275 00:10:41,558 --> 00:10:43,325 Lisa, we don't even know 276 00:10:43,393 --> 00:10:45,327 If he wants to go to college. 277 00:10:45,395 --> 00:10:47,228 Send me to college? 278 00:10:47,297 --> 00:10:49,531 Oh! Ooh! 279 00:10:49,599 --> 00:10:51,477 Watch what you're doing. 280 00:10:51,501 --> 00:10:52,901 You want me to Kiss it, mr. Douglas? 281 00:10:52,936 --> 00:10:54,314 No! Let it alone. 282 00:10:54,338 --> 00:10:56,938 I'm sorry. It's just That I got so excited. 283 00:10:57,006 --> 00:10:58,172 Do you really mean it? 284 00:10:58,241 --> 00:10:59,452 Yeah. We've been Thinking about it. 285 00:10:59,476 --> 00:11:01,220 Gosh, nobody's ever done Anything like this for me. 286 00:11:01,244 --> 00:11:02,176 Well, eb... 287 00:11:02,245 --> 00:11:04,679 Nobody. Nobody! 288 00:11:04,748 --> 00:11:07,349 I repeat... Nobody has Ever done anything 289 00:11:07,417 --> 00:11:08,350 Like this for me before. 290 00:11:08,418 --> 00:11:10,918 Yeah, I think I can Understand why! 291 00:11:10,987 --> 00:11:13,521 I'll pay you back, Mr. Douglas... Every penny. 292 00:11:13,590 --> 00:11:14,522 No. 293 00:11:14,591 --> 00:11:15,724 I insist. 294 00:11:15,792 --> 00:11:17,225 Just keep accurate records... 295 00:11:17,293 --> 00:11:20,094 Not like the ones you keep For the income tax department. 296 00:11:20,163 --> 00:11:21,095 Eb... 297 00:11:21,164 --> 00:11:23,030 Eb, did my husband tell you? 298 00:11:23,099 --> 00:11:24,165 Yes, he did, 299 00:11:24,234 --> 00:11:25,845 And I want to thank you For what you're doing. 300 00:11:25,869 --> 00:11:27,702 Like I was telling mr. Douglas, 301 00:11:27,771 --> 00:11:29,081 Nobody has ever done anything 302 00:11:29,105 --> 00:11:30,383 Like this for me before... 303 00:11:30,407 --> 00:11:32,540 Nobody. Nobody! 304 00:11:32,609 --> 00:11:34,275 Well, we are very glad to do it. 305 00:11:34,344 --> 00:11:36,711 We never had a boy to Send to college before. 306 00:11:36,780 --> 00:11:38,324 I'll make you proud of me, mom. 307 00:11:38,348 --> 00:11:39,447 You, too, dad. 308 00:11:39,516 --> 00:11:42,250 Eb, we're just sending You to college. 309 00:11:42,318 --> 00:11:43,685 We're not adopting you. 310 00:11:43,754 --> 00:11:44,986 Why don't we? 311 00:11:45,054 --> 00:11:46,054 Yes, why don't we? 312 00:11:47,190 --> 00:11:48,256 If I'm your son, 313 00:11:48,324 --> 00:11:50,336 Then I won't have to pay You back for sending me. 314 00:11:50,360 --> 00:11:53,495 Oliver, you told Him to pay us back? 315 00:11:53,563 --> 00:11:55,241 He suggested it himself. 316 00:11:55,265 --> 00:11:58,165 Oh, well, eb, you don't Have to pay us back. 317 00:11:58,234 --> 00:12:00,268 Thanks. Now, my Next question is... 318 00:12:00,336 --> 00:12:02,203 How do I get to harvard? 319 00:12:02,272 --> 00:12:05,006 Well, you... Harvard? 320 00:12:05,074 --> 00:12:06,941 Well, if it was good Enough for you, 321 00:12:07,010 --> 00:12:08,242 It's good enough for him. 322 00:12:08,311 --> 00:12:10,322 Lisa, he's not going to harvard. 323 00:12:10,346 --> 00:12:11,946 If he's not going to harvard, 324 00:12:12,015 --> 00:12:13,214 He's not going to college. 325 00:12:13,283 --> 00:12:14,460 Mrs. Douglas, I Don't care where I go. 326 00:12:14,484 --> 00:12:15,817 You stay out of this. 327 00:12:15,886 --> 00:12:17,585 This is between Your father and me. 328 00:12:17,654 --> 00:12:19,186 I'm not his father. 329 00:12:19,255 --> 00:12:21,656 You sure know how to hurt a guy. 330 00:12:21,725 --> 00:12:23,102 No, no, I didn't Mean to hurt you. 331 00:12:23,126 --> 00:12:24,526 I'm trying to help you. 332 00:12:24,594 --> 00:12:25,605 I mean, surely there must be 333 00:12:25,629 --> 00:12:27,172 Some local college around here 334 00:12:27,196 --> 00:12:29,341 Where you can study Veterinary medicine. 335 00:12:29,365 --> 00:12:30,365 I guess there is. 336 00:12:30,434 --> 00:12:31,933 Why don't you ask mr. Kimball? 337 00:12:41,010 --> 00:12:42,130 Ah, mr. Kimball. 338 00:12:42,178 --> 00:12:43,222 Mr. Douglas, come in, come in. 339 00:12:43,246 --> 00:12:45,613 Thank you. Don't Let me interrupt you. 340 00:12:45,682 --> 00:12:48,583 No, no, no. I'm all finished. 341 00:12:48,652 --> 00:12:50,051 Care for a cup of coffee? 342 00:12:50,119 --> 00:12:52,186 No. No, thank you. 343 00:12:52,255 --> 00:12:55,089 I always make Coffee in a test tube. 344 00:12:55,158 --> 00:12:56,691 It's more scientific. 345 00:12:56,760 --> 00:12:58,960 Well, it's not Scientific. It's... 346 00:12:59,028 --> 00:13:00,039 How about some scientific tea? 347 00:13:00,063 --> 00:13:00,995 No, no, I... 348 00:13:01,064 --> 00:13:01,996 Scientific hot chocolate? 349 00:13:02,065 --> 00:13:02,997 Nothing, nothing. 350 00:13:03,066 --> 00:13:04,146 Say, this is the first time 351 00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:05,344 You ever been up to my office. 352 00:13:05,368 --> 00:13:07,735 Let me show you around. 353 00:13:07,804 --> 00:13:09,637 That's a lab table. Ha ha. 354 00:13:09,706 --> 00:13:10,872 Oh? 355 00:13:10,941 --> 00:13:12,707 That's a desk... 356 00:13:12,776 --> 00:13:15,142 And that's a cabbage. 357 00:13:15,211 --> 00:13:16,221 You can tell it's A cabbage by... 358 00:13:16,245 --> 00:13:18,045 I know how to Tell it's a cabbage. 359 00:13:18,114 --> 00:13:20,682 Hey, you're really Learning that farming game. 360 00:13:20,750 --> 00:13:23,017 Mr. Kimball, 361 00:13:23,086 --> 00:13:24,726 I came up here to find Out about a college 362 00:13:24,754 --> 00:13:26,955 Where you could learn To be a veterinarian. 363 00:13:27,023 --> 00:13:29,824 Mr. Douglas, just because You recognize a cabbage 364 00:13:29,893 --> 00:13:32,226 Doesn't mean you're Qualified to be a vet. 365 00:13:32,295 --> 00:13:35,630 I'm not talking about Myself. I'm talking about eb. 366 00:13:35,699 --> 00:13:37,765 Oh, eb would make a fine vet. 367 00:13:37,834 --> 00:13:40,267 He's kind, intelligent, and... 368 00:13:40,336 --> 00:13:41,736 Eb who? 369 00:13:41,805 --> 00:13:44,506 The boy who works for me. 370 00:13:44,574 --> 00:13:47,274 Oh. He'd make a fine vet, too. 371 00:13:47,343 --> 00:13:49,143 Well, mr. Kimball, 372 00:13:49,212 --> 00:13:51,078 Are there any good Local colleges? 373 00:13:51,147 --> 00:13:52,725 How about the one I went to? 374 00:13:52,749 --> 00:13:55,082 Are there any others? 375 00:13:55,151 --> 00:13:56,651 Well, there's... 376 00:13:56,720 --> 00:13:59,320 Oh. Ha ha ha. That Was a joke, huh? 377 00:13:59,389 --> 00:14:02,089 Ha ha ha. No, I don't Think that was a joke. 378 00:14:03,493 --> 00:14:06,027 Mr. Kimball, about The colleges... 379 00:14:06,095 --> 00:14:08,997 Oh, there's a county College at the county seat. 380 00:14:09,065 --> 00:14:11,143 It has a fine school Of veterinary medicine 381 00:14:11,167 --> 00:14:12,645 And a good agricultural school. 382 00:14:12,669 --> 00:14:15,147 Has one of the finest humus Departments in the country. 383 00:14:15,171 --> 00:14:16,103 Humus? 384 00:14:16,172 --> 00:14:18,006 Oh, that was my major. 385 00:14:18,074 --> 00:14:19,607 I took 4 years of it... 386 00:14:19,676 --> 00:14:21,754 Elementary humus, Intermediate humus, 387 00:14:21,778 --> 00:14:23,277 And advanced humus. 388 00:14:23,346 --> 00:14:24,590 I got straight a's in humus. 389 00:14:24,614 --> 00:14:25,747 Say, that's very nice. 390 00:14:25,815 --> 00:14:28,249 Yeah. I would've Made phi beta kappa, 391 00:14:28,317 --> 00:14:29,877 But I flunked compost 2. 392 00:14:30,954 --> 00:14:33,320 Mr. Kimball, would you recommend 393 00:14:33,389 --> 00:14:35,156 County college for eb? 394 00:14:35,224 --> 00:14:36,791 County college, they... 395 00:14:36,860 --> 00:14:39,861 Yes. Did you say eb was going? 396 00:14:39,930 --> 00:14:41,663 I thought you understood that. 397 00:14:41,731 --> 00:14:44,231 Oh, I do. No, I don't. 398 00:14:44,300 --> 00:14:45,811 I thought eb Couldn't afford to go. 399 00:14:45,835 --> 00:14:48,369 Well, we're thinking Of sending him. 400 00:14:48,438 --> 00:14:50,304 Mr. Douglas... 401 00:14:50,373 --> 00:14:51,940 That's a nice thing. 402 00:14:52,008 --> 00:14:54,442 No, not nice... Unselfish. 403 00:14:54,510 --> 00:14:56,811 No, not unselfish... Magnanimous. 404 00:14:56,880 --> 00:14:58,913 Yes, that's the Word... Magnanimous. 405 00:14:58,982 --> 00:15:00,382 That is a word. I Didn't make it up. 406 00:15:00,416 --> 00:15:02,697 I didn't think you did. Well, thank you very much. 407 00:15:02,752 --> 00:15:05,453 Oh, oh, if eb decides To go to college, 408 00:15:05,521 --> 00:15:06,966 Tell him I'll be very Happy to help him 409 00:15:06,990 --> 00:15:08,355 With his humus homework. 410 00:15:08,424 --> 00:15:10,925 Well, that's very Magnanimous of you. 411 00:15:12,195 --> 00:15:14,929 Wish he'd use his own words. 412 00:15:19,569 --> 00:15:20,835 County college! 413 00:15:20,904 --> 00:15:22,169 Yeah, that's right, eb. 414 00:15:22,238 --> 00:15:23,549 Kimball says it's a good school. 415 00:15:23,573 --> 00:15:24,906 Then it's all settled. 416 00:15:24,975 --> 00:15:26,786 What about his Clothes for college? 417 00:15:26,810 --> 00:15:27,742 What's wrong with these? 418 00:15:27,811 --> 00:15:29,221 Oh, no. You'll need a suit. 419 00:15:29,245 --> 00:15:31,145 Darling, should we Send him to new york 420 00:15:31,214 --> 00:15:32,214 To your tailor, 421 00:15:32,281 --> 00:15:34,381 Or should we fly Your tailor here? 422 00:15:34,450 --> 00:15:38,119 Lisa, eb doesn't need A tailor-made suit. 423 00:15:38,187 --> 00:15:40,154 Yeah, I can buy a Fancy suit in pixley 424 00:15:40,223 --> 00:15:42,189 With a vest and 2 pair of pants. 425 00:15:42,258 --> 00:15:44,191 How much? 8.95. 426 00:15:44,260 --> 00:15:46,293 8.95? 427 00:15:46,362 --> 00:15:47,294 If that's too much, 428 00:15:47,363 --> 00:15:49,063 I can go to one of The cheaper stores. 429 00:15:49,132 --> 00:15:50,464 You know, the Kind that don't have 430 00:15:50,533 --> 00:15:52,433 The nra eagle on the window. 431 00:15:53,603 --> 00:15:55,081 And while you're there, eb, 432 00:15:55,105 --> 00:15:58,773 Get some socks, shoes, Shirt, and a mink coat. 433 00:15:58,842 --> 00:16:00,608 Lisa. 434 00:16:00,677 --> 00:16:03,044 Eb, get whatever you need. 435 00:16:11,454 --> 00:16:13,487 Mr. Haney, what... What... 436 00:16:13,556 --> 00:16:16,524 Mr. Douglas, I wonder If you can help me. 437 00:16:16,592 --> 00:16:17,637 Do you happen to have 438 00:16:17,661 --> 00:16:20,294 Any raccoon coat rejuvenator? 439 00:16:20,363 --> 00:16:21,363 Any what? 440 00:16:21,430 --> 00:16:23,442 I'd hate to send a Boy off to college 441 00:16:23,466 --> 00:16:26,567 In a unrejuvenated raccoon coat. 442 00:16:26,636 --> 00:16:28,136 What boy? 443 00:16:28,204 --> 00:16:30,437 A young feller over At crabwell corners. 444 00:16:30,506 --> 00:16:31,583 His father ordered him 445 00:16:31,607 --> 00:16:33,775 This complete college kit... 446 00:16:33,843 --> 00:16:36,443 Stutz bearcat, raccoon coat, 447 00:16:36,512 --> 00:16:38,813 Ukulele ike ukulele, 448 00:16:38,882 --> 00:16:43,350 And this genuine Elliot ness hip flask 449 00:16:43,419 --> 00:16:47,822 Filled with non-alcoholic Dandelion wine. 450 00:16:47,891 --> 00:16:52,026 Oh, that lucky, lucky boy. 451 00:16:52,095 --> 00:16:53,839 I'm just delivering it to him. 452 00:16:53,863 --> 00:16:55,963 Oh, secuse me... The telephone. 453 00:16:56,032 --> 00:16:57,431 I didn't hear a phone ring. 454 00:16:57,500 --> 00:16:59,133 Well, these mobile units 455 00:16:59,202 --> 00:17:01,468 All come with supersonic rings 456 00:17:01,537 --> 00:17:04,471 Heard only by the subscriber. 457 00:17:04,540 --> 00:17:06,908 Hello. Haney here. 458 00:17:06,976 --> 00:17:07,976 What? 459 00:17:09,079 --> 00:17:11,345 Oh, well, all right. 460 00:17:12,916 --> 00:17:14,381 How do you like that? 461 00:17:14,450 --> 00:17:16,851 Feller just canceled Out his order 462 00:17:16,920 --> 00:17:19,120 For this complete college kit. 463 00:17:19,189 --> 00:17:20,554 And now you're stuck with it. 464 00:17:20,623 --> 00:17:21,703 Yeah, I guess I am, 465 00:17:21,758 --> 00:17:23,002 Unless I can find somebody 466 00:17:23,026 --> 00:17:25,526 That's sending a boy to college. 467 00:17:25,595 --> 00:17:27,895 Mr. Haney, I got To give you credit. 468 00:17:27,964 --> 00:17:29,630 I knew you were going To get around to me, 469 00:17:29,699 --> 00:17:31,799 But I couldn't figure out how. 470 00:17:31,868 --> 00:17:35,036 Are you sending A boy to college? 471 00:17:35,105 --> 00:17:37,705 I am. 472 00:17:37,774 --> 00:17:39,841 I'm probably too late. 473 00:17:39,909 --> 00:17:41,909 A generous man like you, 474 00:17:41,978 --> 00:17:45,312 He must've already Bought him his college kit. 475 00:17:45,381 --> 00:17:46,881 No, I haven't. 476 00:17:46,950 --> 00:17:49,383 Then this is my lucky day. 477 00:17:49,452 --> 00:17:51,485 No, it isn't. 478 00:17:51,554 --> 00:17:54,922 Mr. Douglas, are you going To send a boy to college 479 00:17:54,991 --> 00:17:57,024 Without a stutz bearcat 480 00:17:57,093 --> 00:17:58,926 And a raccoon coat? 481 00:17:58,995 --> 00:18:01,129 I'm afraid I am. 482 00:18:02,665 --> 00:18:03,876 At least he ought to have 483 00:18:03,900 --> 00:18:05,967 This official instruction book 484 00:18:06,035 --> 00:18:07,935 For singing like betty boop. 485 00:18:08,004 --> 00:18:09,103 Betty... 486 00:18:09,172 --> 00:18:10,950 ♪ boop boop be-doop, boop ♪ 487 00:18:10,974 --> 00:18:13,241 No. 488 00:18:13,309 --> 00:18:17,178 How about an autographed picture 489 00:18:17,247 --> 00:18:20,514 Of gilda grey for His gym locker? 490 00:18:20,583 --> 00:18:23,417 Uh, I've bought him Everything he needs. 491 00:18:23,486 --> 00:18:24,418 Of course you got him 492 00:18:24,487 --> 00:18:26,720 A genuine rudy vallee stein 493 00:18:26,790 --> 00:18:29,356 With the words to The maine stein song 494 00:18:29,425 --> 00:18:31,025 Etched on the bottom. 495 00:18:31,094 --> 00:18:32,359 No. 496 00:18:32,428 --> 00:18:33,694 Mr. Douglas, 497 00:18:33,763 --> 00:18:35,607 You're sending This boy to college 498 00:18:35,631 --> 00:18:38,432 Without any statius symbols. 499 00:18:38,501 --> 00:18:40,768 He'll just have to suffer. 500 00:18:40,837 --> 00:18:43,671 Well, I'm not going to let him. 501 00:18:43,739 --> 00:18:45,807 At least I can give him this 502 00:18:45,875 --> 00:18:46,808 Free of charge. 503 00:18:46,876 --> 00:18:47,809 What's that? 504 00:18:47,877 --> 00:18:49,777 15 yards of catgut 505 00:18:49,846 --> 00:18:52,246 For restringing His tennis racket. 506 00:18:52,315 --> 00:18:55,082 He doesn't have a tennis racket. 507 00:18:55,151 --> 00:18:58,752 He doesn't have a tennis racket? 508 00:18:58,822 --> 00:18:59,965 How would you like to buy 509 00:18:59,989 --> 00:19:04,325 This genuine bill Tilden smasher? 510 00:19:04,393 --> 00:19:05,993 Mr. Haney, how would you like me 511 00:19:06,062 --> 00:19:08,462 To dent your hip flask? 512 00:19:09,565 --> 00:19:11,899 Ok, mr. Douglas. 513 00:19:22,178 --> 00:19:24,212 Mmm. Something smells good. 514 00:19:24,280 --> 00:19:25,390 What are you cooking? 515 00:19:25,414 --> 00:19:26,714 Pizza insides. 516 00:19:26,782 --> 00:19:29,717 Oh, you still had some Scrapings left, huh? 517 00:19:29,785 --> 00:19:31,352 Well, I didn't Want to waste any. 518 00:19:31,420 --> 00:19:33,365 Oh, that wouldn't Have bothered me. 519 00:19:33,389 --> 00:19:36,357 Uh, where's eb? 520 00:19:36,425 --> 00:19:38,125 Inside, packing for college. 521 00:19:38,194 --> 00:19:39,894 Oh. 522 00:19:39,963 --> 00:19:41,229 He's leaving in the morning. 523 00:19:41,297 --> 00:19:42,230 Yeah. 524 00:19:42,298 --> 00:19:43,530 Are you going to cry? 525 00:19:43,599 --> 00:19:44,531 No. 526 00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:45,799 Well, I am. 527 00:19:45,869 --> 00:19:47,034 Why? 528 00:19:47,103 --> 00:19:48,936 Well, I think he expects it. 529 00:19:49,005 --> 00:19:50,471 Oh, lisa. 530 00:19:50,539 --> 00:19:52,907 I think you ought to cry, too. 531 00:19:52,976 --> 00:19:55,243 Believe me, it is not necessary. 532 00:19:55,311 --> 00:19:57,578 Well, at least blow Your nose a few times, 533 00:19:57,646 --> 00:19:59,413 Just so that he knows That you'll miss him. 534 00:19:59,482 --> 00:20:01,160 If I have a handkerchief. 535 00:20:01,184 --> 00:20:04,285 Eb: mr. Douglas, mrs. Douglas are you ready? 536 00:20:04,354 --> 00:20:05,486 For what? 537 00:20:05,554 --> 00:20:06,854 I've got my new suit on. 538 00:20:06,923 --> 00:20:08,455 Oh, well, come in. 539 00:20:08,524 --> 00:20:09,556 Close your eyes. 540 00:20:09,625 --> 00:20:11,192 Come on in. 541 00:20:13,229 --> 00:20:14,229 How do you like it? 542 00:20:14,264 --> 00:20:17,365 I should've closed my eyes. 543 00:20:17,433 --> 00:20:19,300 You look very nice, eb. 544 00:20:19,369 --> 00:20:21,046 You'd never guess this was Store-bought, would you? 545 00:20:21,070 --> 00:20:22,469 The salesman said this is what 546 00:20:22,538 --> 00:20:24,538 All the fellers wear at harvard. 547 00:20:24,607 --> 00:20:25,784 Come on, eb. Sit down. 548 00:20:25,808 --> 00:20:26,974 Yes, ma'am. 549 00:20:29,545 --> 00:20:31,312 I suppose you Want to talk to me. 550 00:20:31,381 --> 00:20:32,679 What about? 551 00:20:32,748 --> 00:20:34,815 Whatever an older man Talks to a younger man about 552 00:20:34,884 --> 00:20:36,884 At a time like this. 553 00:20:36,953 --> 00:20:38,297 Oh, I've got nothing To say to you 554 00:20:38,321 --> 00:20:40,065 Except just take Care of yourself. 555 00:20:40,089 --> 00:20:42,556 You know, work Hard, get good marks. 556 00:20:42,625 --> 00:20:44,525 You don't want to Touch on girls, huh? 557 00:20:44,593 --> 00:20:45,593 Eb... 558 00:20:45,661 --> 00:20:47,406 If you want to know Anything about girls, 559 00:20:47,430 --> 00:20:50,998 You better talk to Me. I used to be one. 560 00:20:51,067 --> 00:20:52,199 What about them? 561 00:20:52,268 --> 00:20:54,768 Now, the most important Thing to remember 562 00:20:54,837 --> 00:20:57,138 Is never let a girl Kiss you good night 563 00:20:57,206 --> 00:20:58,639 On your first date. 564 00:20:58,707 --> 00:20:59,941 Oh, no, no. 565 00:21:00,009 --> 00:21:02,243 Oh, that'll give you a Real bad reputation. 566 00:21:03,512 --> 00:21:05,112 Eb, all you have to remember 567 00:21:05,181 --> 00:21:07,148 Is that there are All kinds of girls. 568 00:21:07,216 --> 00:21:09,516 Some are, uh... 569 00:21:09,585 --> 00:21:12,553 And others are, uh... 570 00:21:12,621 --> 00:21:15,156 And... Ahem. 571 00:21:15,224 --> 00:21:16,368 Have you finished packing? 572 00:21:16,392 --> 00:21:19,126 Yes, sir. What about the others? 573 00:21:19,195 --> 00:21:21,095 Uh... 574 00:21:21,164 --> 00:21:22,796 Eb, if you got any problems, 575 00:21:22,865 --> 00:21:25,299 Discuss them with Your counselor. 576 00:21:25,368 --> 00:21:26,400 Gosh, mr. Douglas, 577 00:21:26,469 --> 00:21:27,989 I always knew there Were facts of life, 578 00:21:28,037 --> 00:21:29,203 But this is the first time 579 00:21:29,272 --> 00:21:31,205 Anybody ever Explained them to me. 580 00:21:31,274 --> 00:21:34,641 Well, I'm glad I had The opportunity. 581 00:21:34,710 --> 00:21:37,111 You sure must've had a lot Of experience with women. 582 00:21:37,180 --> 00:21:38,512 You did? 583 00:21:38,581 --> 00:21:40,781 Uh, he said it, I didn't. 584 00:21:40,850 --> 00:21:42,727 Well, you must've Had quite a reputation 585 00:21:42,751 --> 00:21:44,563 If he heard it all The way out to here. 586 00:21:44,587 --> 00:21:45,919 He didn't hear anything. 587 00:21:45,989 --> 00:21:47,299 He just made a Statement. Eb, why do you... 588 00:21:47,323 --> 00:21:48,667 You always said I Was the only woman 589 00:21:48,691 --> 00:21:49,623 You ever knew. 590 00:21:49,692 --> 00:21:51,192 Well, you were. 591 00:21:51,260 --> 00:21:52,300 I was? 592 00:21:52,362 --> 00:21:53,362 Yes. 593 00:21:53,429 --> 00:21:54,840 All the other women Didn't mean anything? 594 00:21:54,864 --> 00:21:55,864 No. 595 00:21:55,898 --> 00:21:57,042 Then there were other women. 596 00:21:57,066 --> 00:21:59,200 Uh, yes, there were... 597 00:21:59,268 --> 00:22:00,645 My mother, my sister, my aunt. 598 00:22:00,669 --> 00:22:01,869 Relatives don't count. 599 00:22:01,937 --> 00:22:03,315 Oh, for the love of pete, honey. 600 00:22:03,339 --> 00:22:04,638 Anybody interested in the fact 601 00:22:04,707 --> 00:22:06,173 That I'm leaving tomorrow? 602 00:22:06,242 --> 00:22:09,676 Oh, eb, I am so sorry. Yes, yes. 603 00:22:09,745 --> 00:22:11,945 I sure am going To miss you folks. 604 00:22:12,015 --> 00:22:13,392 Well, we're going to miss you. 605 00:22:13,416 --> 00:22:14,526 Yes, we are. 606 00:22:14,550 --> 00:22:15,483 I'll write to you. 607 00:22:15,551 --> 00:22:17,196 Oh, that will be very nice. 608 00:22:17,220 --> 00:22:18,220 Will you write to me? 609 00:22:18,254 --> 00:22:19,453 Yes. 610 00:22:19,522 --> 00:22:20,554 What about? 611 00:22:23,059 --> 00:22:25,092 Why don't you go finish packing? 612 00:22:25,161 --> 00:22:26,460 Yes, sir. 613 00:22:28,064 --> 00:22:30,731 Mr. Douglas, mrs. Douglas, 614 00:22:30,799 --> 00:22:32,599 I just want you to Know that nobody, 615 00:22:32,668 --> 00:22:34,635 But absolutely nobody... 616 00:22:34,703 --> 00:22:36,337 Finish packing! 617 00:22:36,406 --> 00:22:37,471 Yes, sir. 618 00:22:42,912 --> 00:22:44,611 Oliver. 619 00:22:44,680 --> 00:22:45,746 Hmm? 620 00:22:45,814 --> 00:22:47,448 What time is it? 621 00:22:47,517 --> 00:22:49,550 A little after 3:00. 622 00:22:49,618 --> 00:22:51,252 I miss him. 623 00:22:51,320 --> 00:22:52,253 Who? 624 00:22:52,321 --> 00:22:54,361 Eb. He left this Morning for college 625 00:22:54,390 --> 00:22:56,323 8 hours ago. 626 00:22:56,392 --> 00:22:57,624 10. 627 00:22:57,693 --> 00:22:58,803 You counting? 628 00:22:58,827 --> 00:23:00,127 Well... 629 00:23:00,196 --> 00:23:02,163 You miss him, too. 630 00:23:02,231 --> 00:23:04,231 It's kind of lonely around here. 631 00:23:04,300 --> 00:23:07,234 Why don't we go up to College and visit him? 632 00:23:07,303 --> 00:23:09,136 It's his first day. 633 00:23:09,205 --> 00:23:10,882 Well, when are we Going to see him? 634 00:23:10,906 --> 00:23:12,339 Eb: turn around. 635 00:23:12,408 --> 00:23:15,476 Hello, folks. I'm Home from college. 636 00:23:15,545 --> 00:23:18,479 You just got there this morning. 637 00:23:18,548 --> 00:23:20,981 I know. Boy, that's A tough school. 638 00:23:21,050 --> 00:23:23,195 I flunked one question On the entrance exam, 639 00:23:23,219 --> 00:23:24,485 And they threw me out. 640 00:23:24,554 --> 00:23:26,387 One question? What was it? 641 00:23:26,456 --> 00:23:29,090 "What high school did You graduate from?" 642 00:23:29,158 --> 00:23:31,158 You mean you didn't finish... 643 00:23:31,227 --> 00:23:32,359 No, sir. 644 00:23:32,428 --> 00:23:33,561 Well, that's ridiculous. 645 00:23:33,629 --> 00:23:34,861 Why didn't you say something? 646 00:23:34,930 --> 00:23:36,375 I didn't think it was important. 647 00:23:36,399 --> 00:23:37,576 Well, of course it's important. 648 00:23:37,600 --> 00:23:38,532 How do you expect to go... 649 00:23:38,601 --> 00:23:40,446 I guess I'll have to Give back the suit. 650 00:23:40,470 --> 00:23:42,336 Oh, no, keep it. 651 00:23:42,405 --> 00:23:44,049 And the socks and the shirts? 652 00:23:44,073 --> 00:23:45,372 They're yours. 653 00:23:45,441 --> 00:23:47,219 And the stutz bearcat? 654 00:23:47,243 --> 00:23:49,843 What stutz bearcat? 655 00:23:49,912 --> 00:23:51,579 What is a stutz bearcat? 656 00:23:51,647 --> 00:23:53,013 It's an automobile. 657 00:23:53,082 --> 00:23:54,759 You bought eb an automobile, 658 00:23:54,783 --> 00:23:56,027 And you didn't Buy me a mink coat? 659 00:23:56,051 --> 00:23:57,551 No, I didn't buy Him an automobile. 660 00:23:57,620 --> 00:23:59,786 Well, you didn't buy Me a mink coat, either. 661 00:23:59,855 --> 00:24:00,865 Gosh, it's good to be home, 662 00:24:00,889 --> 00:24:02,601 Watching mom and dad fight. 663 00:24:02,625 --> 00:24:04,992 Will you change your Clothes and get back to work? 664 00:24:05,060 --> 00:24:06,220 Yes, sir. 665 00:24:10,933 --> 00:24:12,966 Oh, that poor boy... 666 00:24:13,035 --> 00:24:14,179 Thrown out of college 667 00:24:14,203 --> 00:24:17,138 Just because he didn't Graduate from high school. 668 00:24:17,206 --> 00:24:19,473 Oliver, tell me. 669 00:24:19,542 --> 00:24:21,408 Where did we fail? 670 00:24:21,477 --> 00:24:23,677 Where did... 671 00:24:23,746 --> 00:24:24,978 It's not our fault. 672 00:24:25,047 --> 00:24:27,114 It's always the parents' fault. 673 00:24:27,183 --> 00:24:28,594 Your mother told me that. 674 00:24:28,618 --> 00:24:31,118 She took the blame for The way you turned out. 675 00:24:31,187 --> 00:24:34,155 What's the matter with The way I turned out? 676 00:24:34,223 --> 00:24:37,224 Well, you always put Your arms around girls, 677 00:24:37,293 --> 00:24:38,592 Kissing them. 678 00:24:38,661 --> 00:24:40,761 Now, you're the only Girl I ever do that to. 679 00:24:40,829 --> 00:24:42,696 Well, as long as I am here, 680 00:24:42,765 --> 00:24:44,965 Go ahead. Be a big failure. 681 00:24:57,413 --> 00:25:00,347 Captioning made possible By mgm home entertainment 682 00:25:00,416 --> 00:25:03,536 Captioned by the national Captioning institute... Www.Ncicap.Org...